It’s the Little Things That Matter.
Recently I had an extremely busy day. Does anyone have what we call Birthday Month in your house? For us it’s the month of June that hits hard. Three of us in our immediate household have birthdays plus a couple extended family birthdays and anniversaries. Throw in Father’s Day, end of school extra commitments and celebrations and by mid-June I’m ready to just lay down in my fresh gardens and become mulch. Let me spread out, protect some plants and just let me be.
It was my daughter’s birthday. I was in the middle of dashing to the Dollar Store when in the parking lot I bumped into my sister-in-law. We quickly greeted each other, but I could only chat for a minute. I mentioned I wanted to get some dirt and compost for my garden bed I was planning to clean up. It was on sale in the parking lot of the plaza we were chatting in. I dashed off to the Dollar Store, when suddenly I get a text from my sister-in-law.
“How many bags of dirt & compost do you need?”
“Two of each…..Why?”
“I’ve got ten minutes to spare; I’ll grab them for you.”
That little gesture of help made such a difference in my day. I went from feeling overloaded and rushed, to being seen and feeling cared for.
It took her less than ten minutes out of her day. The cost to her was less than twenty dollars.
“I got you three of each,” she remarked as I met back up with her in the parking lot after buying some birthday party supplies, “It’s on me.”
And that was it!
A brief chance encounter in a grocery plaza parking lot, a few minutes of time and a few dollars was all it took to lighten the load I carried that afternoon. A smile spread across my face and we quickly parted ways. Her off to her errands and me to finish my little to do list before a birthday party. I haven’t spoken to her since, because you know, everyone is busy.
Do your little bit of good
– DESMOND TUTU
where you are;
it’s those little bits of
good put together that overwhelm the world.
And this brings to mind some beautiful memories that have been seemingly insignificant and yet mattered enormously to me.
The time a little girl donated the $7.85 towards the van we needed. With a price tag of over $70,000 for a new accessible van for Scarlett, you’d think she’d be deterred by the enormity of it all.
She wasn’t.
She made a difference.
I have this neighbour who regularly, without asking or looking for recognition, will cut our front lawn or mulch the plethora of leaves that descend on our front lawn every October.
No searching for praise or recognition.
Just a neighbour being neighbourly.
There was the surprise delivery of flowers and chocolate that happened to come on a day I was particularly stressed from Scarlett’s health challenges.
I recall getting a phone call from a friend who just called to check in and it happened to be on a day we returned from an Emergency Room visit with Scarlett.
Just to know we weren’t forgotten was a massive boon to my spirits that day.
There’s the friend who will regularly offer an hour or two of her time to help with odd jobs like chopping veggies for Scarlett’s blended food diet. Or will help with any simple household chore.
And that’s the thing we all need to remind ourselves of, you don’t have to do it all! Just do what you can with what’s in front of you.
All or Nothing
I am guilty of having an all or nothing kind of attitude, “I don’t have five hundred dollars to solve some of their problems so…. I’ll walk (slink) on by and wish them the best”
Or
“They must be so sad from that loss, but I have no idea what to say, so…. I’ll just say nothing so I don’t make a mistake.”
BUT… when I’m on the receiving end, I’m realizing what that actually feels like.
Loneliness. Ostrasizing. Like no one cares.
I realized I had a habit of making it about me. I let MY fears of making a mistake, saying the wrong thing, or being embarrassed because I only have five dollars to help towards some fundraiser instead of the five hundred I wish I could give, become MORE important than actually helping a person or cause!
Pride.
Ooof. That one caught me off guard. I hadn’t realized my pride was standing in the way of offering someone help, even if it was what I considered “meagre”.
And who am I to judge what is a “worthy” way to help or what is “enough”?
We humans can be confusing, contradicting and ambiguous. Why do I seem to need to go through pain and suffering to see things with clarity?
Just because I can’t solve every problem someone may have, does not mean I can’t make a difference and perhaps lighten their load just a smidgen. Perhaps a compliment, an encouragement, a vase of flowers from my garden, a quick text or phone call to let someone know I’m thinking of them, or
…even a bag of dirt.
The offer of a listening ear goes a long way to helping someone feel not so alone. There’s no formula on how to make a difference (but my practical and logical side would reeeeaallly love a formula!). Going with kindness, thoughtfulness and a reminder that just doing what I can with what I have, even if it’s only a few minutes, can make a difference.
The gift of showing up and being present in someone’s hard story, is an offering many underestimate. I know, ‘cause I’ve experienced it.
A simple act or gesture can make a world of difference. We all have struggles we’re going through and who knows? Perhaps you are exactly what someone needs in their day.
Listening to Sharon McMahon’s encouragement that small acts can add up to making a big difference, like how drops make an ocean, reminds me that even trivial kindnesses can become significant. Listen here to be inspired and learn about a twenty-six year old electrician who changed a life.
Too often I overlook and minimize the difference I can make.
A bag of dirt taught me otherwise.